Archive for August, 2008

Learning Lia

August 18, 2008  |  Fatherhood, Lia  |  2 Comments

It appears my school career is far from over as I am apparently attending Lia 101. Although Lia is in a constant state of absorption, she can also turn into an unsolvable Rubik’s cube at any time. At times I feel like I am in a Mission Impossible movie where Lia will self destruct in 10 seconds if I don’t figure out what she is trying to tell me. Of course you would never expect it from the angel pictured above.

I can now say I have experienced a full on Lia meltdown which is what I think an F4 Tornado would be like if I witnessed one firsthand. Of course I am exaggerating a bit, but it was a lesson learned none the less. It all started when we walked by Chick-Fil-A and one of the “cows” was making a special appearance. Of course I was thinking photo op, but instead I probably have made Lia deafly afraid of large cows walking on hind legs. Now this was not the cause of the meltdown, but it was definitely in the chain of events leading to Chernobyl 2.

After the cow made his appearance again, I quickly got us in line but Lia wanted nothing to do with this over sized walking bovine. Of course all of the workers were trying to get her interested in the cow, but Lia wasn’t having it. Even when I finally got close enough for a picture, she was ready to jump out of my arms the if he even attempted to look in her general direction. When the picture was over and I was getting my backpack on and her back in my arms, one of the ladies offered her a free ice cream. Of course at the time it seemed like a nice gesture and a great idea…. but was I ever wrong! Lia of course took a few licks, but then she just wanted to carry it around the mall as it dripped a trail that Hansel and Gretal would have been envious of.

As we finally approached the car the top of the ice cream fell off and it was like the flash of light before an atomic bomb explodes. Looking back I probably looked like Ralphie in slow motion “Ooooohhhh Fuuuuuudge!” because I knew exactly what was coming next. Of course the cutest part of the tirade was watching Lia trying to re-attach the the glob of melted mess back to the cone.

All in all, it was nothing a little hug, kiss and a nap couldn’t handle.

Due Dylangence

August 9, 2008  |  Dylan  |  No Comments

Let’s see… it’s been a year now since Dylan has plagued entered my life and it’s time for his annual report card. Now that he is a year old, it’s time to reflect on the damage he has done by chewed up hats, shoes and random things around the house. He has curtailed most of his damaging ways and has taken up new hobbies like watching TV, chasing squirrels, and falling asleep while giving him a bath. Of course these are things he enjoys doing when he is not at one of the 4 dog parks I take him to weekly.

I will say he is a gentle giant with children and a helluva best friend to me. He has finally grown into his paws and somewhat out of his goofy stage. Around the house he is connected to me with an invisible 5-10 leash. Although if I am anywhere near the kitchen, he is within inches of me for obvious reasons.

Now that he is fixed he is not trying to mount everything in sight, which is a huge relief because it’s hard enough trying to explain to the neighbors what he sees in a fire hydrant. He has calm down a bit and knows when to stop when he starts playing rough.

I will say that the most annoying thing about him is when he steps on your foot. It actually feels like a stack of dictionaries concentrated on one area of your toes or foot. What do you expect, he is a hefty 115 lbs now. Although it’s belated… happy birthday Dylan. And when you made your birthday wish, I truly hope it was for a smaller appetite… you’re eating me out of house and home bro.