When someone like you comes into my life and turns it upside down for the better, it makes me realize just how lucky I really am. I don’t really believe in luck, but I do believe in destiny, and the work of God to bless those for his own purpose.
I really thought I knew what happiness was before having a daughter. I was so absorbed with the things I wanted to do in life, that I thought having a child would mean giving up part of my dreams in someway or even put a limit on things I would be able to do because of responsibility. I know that sounds selfish, and I have been called that by people who have been closest to me. I will admit that I have been selfish in some of my decisions and accept and understand it. I am after all human, I sin daily and I am prone to error…but that doesn’t mean I don’t try each day to be a better person. I do believe that Lia entered my life to not only open my eyes, but to guide me and teach me things I would have never been taught otherwise.
I wanted anyone who reads this to know that I do not feel that I am a better parent than they are, or that I love my daughter more than they love their own child. I was just simply inspired by her to write my feelings, journeys, and experiences with her for Lia to hopefully treasure in the future. If for some reason something happens to me, she can at least know how I felt about her and know that I loved her very much.
We recently attended a wedding this past weekend, and it was my first wedding since having Lia. It was different than all other weddings I had attended because although I was happy for the couple getting married, my thoughts were consumed with Lia. She looked adorable in her new dress and shoes and couldn’t wait to get pictures of her in it. It’s funny to think of it this way, but I look at potential photo ops like the way that NASA looks at shuttle re-entry. There are only small windows that the shuttle can enter earths atmosphere and land. This is not to say that Lia is difficult, but more so the small window of opportunity closes whether it be food on her clothes, the right lighting, bad mood, won’t stay still, preoccupied with other things.
I’m sure you get the idea. It was easier before she was able to walk, because she was like a prop that I could pose next to something and snap as many pictures as I wanted. At times it’s like trying to film a cheetah running and trying to get it to look at you with it in focus, staying in frame, all while not running into something to get that special shot. Out of about 60 pictures I shot, maybe 5 of them were actually usable. The rest were like pictures the parents of Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes) tried to take of them while he ran a muck around the house.
Calvin and Hobbes had a huge impact on who I am today because of his imagination and sarcasm. Although Bill Watterson quit writing about Calvin years ago, I guess you could say that Lia is my new version of Calvin and Hobbes to enjoy through my journey of fatherhood.