Resting in Peace


It appears Dylan was the victim of a drunk crib accident that had a wood alcohol level of 5.3. Dylan is survived by his owner and his owner’s daughter. No funeral arrangements have been made since that money was spent on feeding him and replacing things he inadvertently broke as a 110 lb. Baby Huey. We ask that you please respect our privacy at this time and not respond to our Craigslist ad entitled “Free to a good home: Needy 4 legged garbage disposal “.

It was a somber day for me, although I heard laughter and cheering coming from the other room, most notably from my tennis shoes and the TV remotes. As you can see in the photo, it appears that it also caused swelling to “his boys”. Believe it or not they were that size even before the accident.

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