Christmas time brings 3 things each year; your birthday, my birthday and of course Christmas. It’s those three things that bring a special warmth to my heart as I try to embed the Christmas joy my parents gave me during this time of year for you. My heart goes out to families that are not able to provide the toys and gifts for their little ones as my parents were able to do for me. So of course this year I again showered you with well thought out gifts as I tried to imagine which ones would bring the biggest smiles.
I will admit I was a little surprised on how well you did with not trying to open any gifts early or asking if you could open them early. You did gravitate to the tree now and then to get a peek at them but you were able to contain yourself as I once did many years ago. Since I did not have you this Christmas, I only thought it to be better to wait until I have you for you to open presents so that you can enjoy them longer. Otherwise it would have been ooooh and awww and then tell you it was time to go back home. Of course they would be here when you got back, but that is hard to comprehend at your age so I chose to wait.
Although you did receive a few gifts for your birthday since I was able to spend time with you on Christmas Eve/Your Birthday which was very cherished as you played with play-dough with Pa Pa. During that time Pa Pa made at least 7 different animals and you made about 157 balls and 4 snakes. You interacted with Pa Pa for over an hour as you guys stayed focus on your play-dough projects with songs of Christmas and stories of Daycare and your friends. I watched from the couch and was sort of saddened by the fact that you will not be 3 forever. Each year will come faster and faster and bring new stories and new gifts, and although you will always be my little girl, you won’t always be my little 3 year old girl. You did promise to stay 3 years old for me, but I know I can’t hold you to that.
I love you my little angel. Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas… love always daddy.
I have been told many times that I am a lucky father to have such a beautiful and sweet child. Believe me when I tell you that I never take each of those comments for granted either. I think every parent is lucky to be blessed with a child and my feelings are nothing to new to any parent. However, when you get what exactly you wished for, it makes it that much better.
I can’t believe in less than 19 days you will be 3 years old. As cliche as it sounds, it does seem like just yesterday you were brought home from the hospital. Thinking back, I must have looked like a deer in headlights on the way home from the hospital knowing that this was really happening. Of course you have 9 months to prepare yourself for being a parent, but there is nothing like trial by fire on your first night.
It’s those experiences along with the subtle and not so subtle occurrences that led me to create this journal to share my thoughts and feelings as a first time parent. It’s been a journey to say the least, but one I would do over and over again to treasure the firsts in your young life. It also helps to have great friends and family that have been there along the way for us during these times. You may not remember any of them until you get to be about 5 or 6, but they loved you just the same.
The 2 years I have been writing my thoughts and feelings about our times together helps me memorialize moments that are usually lost or forgotten but will be here for you to treasure as time rolls on. Each December brings us a special time of year as you and I, 2 Capricorns turn one year older. It’s special to me knowing we will most likely share similar personality traits so many people have come to love about me (sarcastic grin), and look forward to seeing you blossom into a young lady one day, but not gonna rush those days to get here anytime soon as I will enjoy you being 3 for as long as I can.
The term I grew to love is now almost something I don’t even remember anymore. I remember playing from sun up to sun down and not knowing what my true goal was other than to occupy my mind with my imagination. As a father now, watching Lia grow up and play I begin to remember how goals were something you scored in soccer and absolutely nothing was a waste of time in a kids mind.
Patience is something that I have struggled with since I was a teenager. When I was a kid I could literally spend 45 minutes in this blazing heat changing a flat tire on my bike without getting upset. Mainly because all I had was time, and not in a rush to be bored. I haven’t been bored in a long time, and when I have some free time I am often thinking of new ventures instead of relaxing. Although most people think I am a workaholic, I feel my imagination provides me a release most people get from a vacation so needless to say I enjoy what I do for a living.
I often hear parents joke about the energy kids have and bottling it up and selling it. It’s true, kids expend a ton of energy, but how else are they suppose to release pure unadulterated unfocused energy? Playing should be a vitamin taken in high dosages as a kid. I know I played until my legs fell off, slept, woke up and ate cereal and off I went again. It was almost like the directions to a shampoo only mine was Play, Rinse, Eat and Repeat.
Seeing Lia play is something I enjoy very much because I often times try and think of what she is thinking. Although she is a brilliant child, her thoughts are once like mine were simple, imaginative, and immortal. Every minute spent with Lia is an experience that out does the previous because of her learning and expanding vocabulary. Her love for babies is ever growing. If she could, she would have each baby a toy maker makes and still not satisfy her need for taking care of a baby.
She has also named each and everyone of her babies to date. Astonishing you may think… not really considering all of their names are “Baby”. I will ask her each time she gets a new baby what the babies name is and she will always answer innocently “Baby”. Baby is very much apart of Lia’s life regardless of which one it is. She always has one to feed, put to sleep and stuff in her varied toy transportation devices. They may be getting run over hanging half out of her toy car, but they are with her none the less.
My dad (your grandfather) has often said the feathers of your angel wings are starting to fall off. Of course I laughed it off until this past weekend to which I witnessed one of your angel wings fall off in a tantrum over what you wanted to wear.
You have become VERY partial to pretty dresses as you should, since you are a little girl. However, if it’s not the EXACT dress you want you can become a little tyrant trying to pitch a fit and then quickly looking for a reaction from me. If I ignore this reaction, you will try several more times until I finally say something or ask if you would like to go to time out. Of course you don’t want any part of timeout so you will often sit with your arms crossed or roll around the floor. This is probably where I am having the hardest time disciplining you because I don’t see you as often as I would like to, and when I do I don’t want to have to come down on you but I know in the end it will be what is best for you. Parenting is a difficult task I could have never been prepared for, but it is a learning experience I couldn’t live without.
You love flash cards, but you ONLY want to do them if you are the teacher. You will ask me “What is this Daddy” and I of course respond with what is showing on the flash card, and quickly repeat it and then put it in a pile to which you then reshuffle and align the cards each and every time. You also like to color, draw, or paint in the same spot as someone else like you had created what was being drawn and you look up with the cutest grin like “look what I did!”
Your fascination with TV shows has me singing them when you are not here like “Wow Wow Wubzy” theme song and Wonder Pets. You also have this adoration of The Incredible’s and Cars both of which are computer generated cartoons. When you are not watching, learning, drawing, or fussing. You are the quiet blissful little angel I have always wanted from a little girl.
I can’t even fathom what it would like to just wake up and be taken anywhere without really knowing the destination, which is the case most everyday for you. It’s like you are on automatic pilot as you are swept away to tropical destinations, grocery stores, playgrounds and the dreaded daycare. Galveston is not exactly tropical, but it’s the closest thing we have to it, but we made the best of it anyways.
Words alone cannot describe the taste of Galveston beach water as it infiltrates your senses as you take your first few steps into it’s murky abyss. Your first reactions were to run up to the shoes just before the waters and retreat before the next wave washed ashore. You did this at least 6-8 times before I hoisted you up on my shoulders as we braved the 3 inch waves and headed out to sea. It wasn’t long before you were ready to head back and begin our general contractor and builder partnership of our sand castle. As I slaved away at trenching the sand and laying the foundation, you were not far behind with hands on hips directing where the next wall should go.
We caught the eye of another little girl who seemed to be interested in our sand building expertise asking what we did to make certain elements. You weer quick to point out “that’s my daddy” and quickly entered your new palace. With a shovel as your scepter, you ruled as princess Liana on the Galveston coast.
I have to say the past 6 months have been the best with Lia. Communication is up, tantrums are down and this is the age I always said that I looked forward to the most. The development of her personality right before my very eyes has been magical, fun, and at times thought provoking. I say this because she makes me remember the little things in life I hadn’t thought about in years. I never really thought about how much I am taking in from having a child and how much she is teaching me at the same time.
I’m also glad to report that her imagination is alive and well. A recent trip to the park allowed me to view this first hand as we “pretended” to watch t.v. in her make shift house underneath one of the playgrounds. I told her it was dark in her house and she needed to turn on the light for me to see and she flipped an imaginary switch on one of the pole supports. I am not sure exactly when my imagination kicked in but I hope she has one as vivid as mine was and still is to this very day.
Before having a daughter, I had always pictured me pushing my child in a swing set with the sun setting and a cool breeze blowing as we talked, laughed and smiled. We have had our swing times together in the past, but this time was different. It lasted more than 30 minutes as she continued to ask for more pushes and I kindly obliged. As I looked around I slowly realized that what was happening was exactly how I pictured it some 10 odd years ago. It was a calm and peaceful moment that I wanted to last forever as I stood there to take it all in with probably a silly smile on my face. There is no price you can put on these moments in time, but they are certainly worth more than any mint could possibly print in a lifetime.
When it was over we packed up and headed home. I adjusted my riewview mirror to look back at you several times as you smiled back at me from your car seat. For this was just one of millions of memories that you will most likely forget, but will play over and over in my mind for many years to come.
What started out as a innocent Saturday afternoon ended up being a little tramatic for the both of us and you with a nasty little knot on the back of your head. We had been invited over to neighbors to hang out because they have grown very fond of you. She is on an older woman byt the name of Doris, and it’s just her and her mother living together just down the road. I see them quite often when walking Dylan or when she is outside taking care of her garden.
Over the past 2 years it had become tradition to stop by when you were staying with me, and during that time they had grown very fond of you. This particular weekend had been a few weeks since they last had seen you and they had requested that we come over. We had ventured into the back yard where you had found a couple of her garden pinwheels that you felt needed relocation. We were all trying to teach you how to blow gently on the pinwheel to get it to spin, but you insisted that your 300 PSI blowing bubbles blow was more effective. Which it probably would have been had you actually had the pinwheel facing the right direction.
After a couple of laps around the yard you had decided it was time to come sit with the big people and pull up a chair. Doris then remembered that she had a smaller plastic chair that would fit you better. When you climbed in the chair you were playing with your pinwheel when all of a sudden you had rocked back and just happened to catch the edge of where the grass met the concrete with the back of your head. It was the first time since having you that I felt completely helpless as I waited for you to catch your breath before letting out a gut wrenching scream. As I held you close I was feeling the back of your head praying that it didn’t break the skin, which it didn’t. After a couple of minutes and 15 million apologies from Doris on her placement of the chair, you seemed to be alright. Of course any type of head trauma requires close observation over the next several hours.
You didn’t show any signs that would require a trip to the hospital other than the knuckle sized lump on the back of your head which amazingly you let me keep a cold pack on for 15 minutes at a time. You ate dinner, laughed and played as usual and then got you ready for bed. It had been almost 4 hours since the incident and with any head injury you should monitor any sleepiness after hitting the head. Of course I was a little over protective, but I woke you up 2 times in the middle of the night just to make sure you were alert and functional. I admit it was total overkill, but as a parent you just can never be too safe and I just couldn’t fathom life without you, much less over a small accident that I could not protect you from.
I’m happy to report that you were ok, but it did make me realize how fortunate I am to have a healthy baby girl. The helplessness I felt after the accident must pale in comparison to the parents of Children with Cancer or any disease for that matter. I wanted to take the pain away from you but could only comfort. In the future when the bumps, scrapes, cuts and falls happen; the dynamic duo of Daddy and Neosporin will be there for you. I love you my sweetheart an remember I may not always be around to catch you when you fall, but I will always be there to tell you everything is going to be alright.
When was the last time someone asked you to look at the clouds on a fair day? Well today on the way to the zoo my daughter exclaimed “Look at the clouds daddy”. Not that it was an unorthodox statement, but rather when was the last time that I actually slowed down enough to enjoy the simple things in life we take for granted?
It made me remember simpler times growing up with not a care in the world. If I tried hard enough I could make a shape out of any cumulus cloud, or spend hours on end in 100+ degree weather making dirt ramps to jump, exploring private property, and even jumping off 60′ dangerous cliffs into water without a care in the world. Now, if it doesn’t beep, ring, or have an internet connection I almost lose interest. Of course I am older and technology has changed dramatically in the last 25 years, but that does not mean that I can’t disconnect myself long enough to enjoy the free and beautiful things in life.
I cannot imagine what is in store for you Lia over the course of the next 25 years, but will try my hardest to balance to keep you aware of beauty in the life around you, as well as an ever growing explosion in technology. These advances in technology have made me rely on them to function as a time saving effort, but still know how do do things the old fashioned way in case I am forced to go that primitive route again. I am hoping to instill the same with you regardless if you have the ability to update your Twitter, Facebook, and even make toast by way of telekinesis. You WILL be taught how to do things the way we used to do it before there was even an internet.
Do me a favor though, as you grow older and life starts to get busy for you…please don’t forget the smaller beautiful things in life because those are taken for granted by millions of people everyday. By asking me to look at the clouds today, you took me back 25 years to laying in my front yard making shapes out of clouds without a care in the world. The funny thing is, it was probably mid summer and I was bored out of my mind at the time. But looking back, I can’t think of anything in the past 25 years that made me feel so creatively at ease and so fulfilling. So much so that memory like my love for you, will be there forever.
It is said that teleportation is the way of the future. So it comes at no surprise to me that I am indeed the father of a walking, talking teleportation device.. I can walk into any room in the house and have a pretty good idea of where something is at almost any given time. Now, that is not to say that my place is spic and span and EVERYTHING has it’s place as my father used to preach to me, no, it’s just that my place is fairly tidy and pretty plain. When a variable such as my 2 year old daughter code named “TeLIAportation” enters the room, I see things moved around the house without actually seeing her physically move them. I know that I’m getting old, but not old enough to not notice physical absurdities happening around me.
It’s almost like this scene from Poltergeist only not as dramatic or scary. For instance, I could have everything packed for her ready to walk out the door and think, “Oh, I forgot her baby” which I last saw 30 seconds ago on the couch and low and behold it’s on my bed. I know my house is not haunted, well…, THIS IS the place was where we watched the Superbowl Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction, which caused more eye trauma than any household haunting could possibly do, but I digress. I can see Lia play with her toys all day long but I guess I never really see her put them down. God forbid she ever uses the remotes to the T.V. because I will most likely tear into the sheet rocked walls if I cannot find those.
She is growing and learning at a pace I can hardly keep up with. Of course it’s not like we are watching Fraggle Rock one minute and the next discussing the recession, but I am noticing small changes in her learning and understanding of her environment and her vision and memory is almost of superhero status. She can walk by my “memo” board and see a wallet sized picture of her in Santa’s lap which is 3′ above her peripheral vision and point out and Yell “Santa!”. I’m all like “sure honey, yeah Santa..are you ready to go now?” and as I pick her up, I noticed the picture and was amazed because the image was partly covered by about 3 TO GO food menus so all you really saw was Santas legs. It’s amazing to think of how cluttered our minds are with everyday things that we neglect the smaller things around us. It’s like children have a 6th sense that we all came equipped with, long before everyday life got in the way.
I have to also mention that her memory is outstanding in the fact considering what she remembered was no longer there. We were standing in line for the indoor playground at the mall when she points in a general direction and says “Santa”, and of course I’m saying” No honey, Santa is not here.” when all of a sudden I realize she was able to remember that this was the area that the Santa pictures occured which was astounding to me since there is not one physical remnant that it even took place there. No big chair, no lights, no 14′ reindeer.. nothing but people walking whuch as simply amazing for me to comprehend at her age. Hopefully this is the first sign of a vivid imagination which I was thankfully blessed with. The fact that she was able to recreate in her mind that in fact was the area where the pictures were taken was a step in that general direction and hopefully she is able to build upon it as she continues to grow. She is not only an amazing child to me, but she also is my pride and joy. Time may be flying fast, but I can truly say I am enjoying every minute of it although the minutes tend to feel like seconds as time continues to wisp on by.
When you finally slow down enough to get a snack in your tummy, you still find a way to provide free entertainment for our viewing pleasure. I have been very adamant about you saying please and thank you, which you have responded quite nicely thus far. I just happened to have the video camera handy to catch when being too nice actually backfires.
This past weekend was a dreary wet weekend filled with non-stop commotion and tons of Fraggle Rock. Yes my little darling, you are being exposed to the very same puppet entertainment that I watched growing up. Jim Henson was the creator of this half hour puppet-stravaganza filled with Doozers, dancing, music and ogres. When I saw the entire boxed collection become available on Amazon.com, I couldn’t wait for you to see the first episode. Without much surprise to me, you were instantly hooked. I wasn’t as young as you were when it came out, but that doesn’t mean you will enjoy it any less, you just will not understand the subject matter until you are older. Jim Henson found away to entertain all ages with the music and dancing, while the older kids were taught the simple values Gobo, Mokey, Red and Boober encountered on a daily basis.
{Spoiler Alert}
As many times as Junior Ogre promised “OOHHH one day I’m going to get you fwaggles”, he sadly never does. Which would stand to reason, since he would probably would have eaten them, which in turn would have made the DVD boxed set a few seasons short.