Any time spent with a loved one is considered a precious moment. However, on rare occasions you are able to capture them on film. The picture above is one of these rare moments, not staged or set-up, just in my office while listening to her music and playing with her wooden baby stroller. What makes this picture special to me is her day dream stare as I am guilty of these at least 3-4 times a day, usually in thinking of her.

We both will never know what is racing through your mind at this moment, but I can tell you what flashed through my mind after seeing this picture on my screen. Thinking back through my life through all of the highlights, experiences, and emotions… it seems they all pale in comparison to seeing a little version of me growing up right before my very eyes. Now, I know that sounds silly because the journey of life is worth living and enjoying before children, but there comes a time when you look back and they all seem like minor accomplishments when compared to becoming a parent.

If you were to hand me this picture 10 years ago and told me THIS will be your future daughter, I think I would have probably stared at it for at least 2 days before I could even comprehend the magnitude of emotion I would have felt. My next thought would be to analyze what events needed to happen to make this a reality. I think my life would have been turned upside down, and decisions would have been made that ultimately would have cost me not having Lia, which is why we can never know our own fate, future, or destiny. Not that we have a choice in the matter, but it makes perfect sense to me now than ever before.

I have been more of an analogy nut these days, and one that comes to mind is our own solar system when it comes to describing my love for Lia. Lia is of course the sun, with each of the nine planets a ball of emotion. Love, fear, hope, patience, joy, anticipation, sadness, wonder, and courage in a harmonious orbit around her. I guess it goes without saying that my life in fact does revolve around Lia.

The term I grew to love is now almost something I don’t even remember anymore. I remember playing from sun up to sun down and not knowing what my true goal was other than to occupy my mind with my imagination. As a father now, watching Lia grow up and play I begin to remember how goals were something you scored in soccer and absolutely nothing was a waste of time in a kids mind.

Patience is something that I have struggled with since I was a teenager. When I was a kid I could literally spend 45 minutes in this blazing heat changing a flat tire on my bike without getting upset. Mainly because all I had was time, and not in a rush to be bored. I haven’t been bored in a long time, and when I have some free time I am often thinking of new ventures instead of relaxing. Although most people think I am a workaholic, I feel my imagination provides me a release most people get from a vacation so needless to say I enjoy what I do for a living.

I often hear parents joke about the energy kids have and bottling it up and selling it. It’s true, kids expend a ton of energy, but how else are they suppose to release pure unadulterated unfocused energy? Playing should be a vitamin taken in high dosages as a kid. I know I played until my legs fell off, slept, woke up and ate cereal and off I went again. It was almost like the directions to a shampoo only mine was Play, Rinse, Eat and Repeat.

Seeing Lia play is something I enjoy very much because I often times try and think of what she is thinking. Although she is a brilliant child, her thoughts are once like mine were simple, imaginative, and immortal. Every minute spent with Lia is an experience that out does the previous because of her learning and expanding vocabulary. Her love for babies is ever growing. If she could, she would have each baby a toy maker makes and still not satisfy her need for taking care of a baby.

She has also named each and everyone of her babies to date. Astonishing you may think… not really considering all of their names are “Baby”. I will ask her each time she gets a new baby what the babies name is and she will always answer innocently “Baby”. Baby is very much apart of Lia’s life regardless of which one it is. She always has one to feed, put to sleep and stuff in her varied toy transportation devices. They may be getting run over hanging half out of her toy car, but they are with her none the less.

My dad (your grandfather) has often said the feathers of your angel wings are starting to fall off. Of course I laughed it off until this past weekend to which I witnessed one of your angel wings fall off in a tantrum over what you wanted to wear.

You have become VERY partial to pretty dresses as you should, since you are a little girl. However, if it’s not the EXACT dress you want you can become a little tyrant trying to pitch a fit and then quickly looking for a reaction from me. If I ignore this reaction, you will try several more times until I finally say something or ask if you would like to go to time out. Of course you don’t want any part of timeout so you will often sit with your arms crossed or roll around the floor. This is probably where I am having the hardest time disciplining you because I don’t see you as often as I would like to, and when I do I don’t want to have to come down on you but I know in the end it will be what is best for you. Parenting is a difficult task I could have never been prepared for, but it is a learning experience I couldn’t live without.

You love flash cards, but you ONLY want to do them if you are the teacher. You will ask me “What is this Daddy” and I of course respond with what is showing on the flash card, and quickly repeat it and then put it in a pile to which you then reshuffle and align the cards each and every time. You also like to color, draw, or paint in the same spot as someone else like you had created what was being drawn and you look up with the cutest grin like “look what I did!”

Your fascination with TV shows has me singing them when you are not here like “Wow Wow Wubzy” theme song and Wonder Pets. You also have this adoration of The Incredible’s and Cars both of which are computer generated cartoons. When you are not watching, learning, drawing, or fussing. You are the quiet blissful little angel I have always wanted from a little girl.

I can’t even fathom what it would like to just wake up and be taken anywhere without really knowing the destination, which is the case most everyday for you. It’s like you are on automatic pilot as you are swept away to tropical destinations, grocery stores, playgrounds and the dreaded daycare. Galveston is not exactly tropical, but it’s the closest thing we have to it, but we made the best of it anyways.

Words alone cannot describe the taste of Galveston beach water as it infiltrates your senses as you take your first few steps into it’s murky abyss. Your first reactions were to run up to the shoes just before the waters and retreat before the next wave washed ashore. You did this at least 6-8 times before I hoisted you up on my shoulders as we braved the 3 inch waves and headed out to sea. It wasn’t long before you were ready to head back and begin our general contractor and builder partnership of our sand castle. As I slaved away at trenching the sand and laying the foundation, you were not far behind with hands on hips directing where the next wall should go.

We caught the eye of another little girl who seemed to be interested in our sand building expertise asking what we did to make certain elements. You weer quick to point out “that’s my daddy” and quickly entered your new palace. With a shovel as your scepter, you ruled as princess Liana on the Galveston coast.

There exists a time in a place that you dance, spin and laugh. You run and play while I follow closely behind. I ask you questions I know the answer to just to hear your soft voice reply “yes”. You grab Dylan’s tail and giggle and say Daddy until I give you my undivided attention. I hold your hand as you climb the slide and yell “WEEEEE” all the way down as you look to see what’s next.

You frolic in the grass with not a care across your mind and you gather me up a hand full of dirt. We pretend to watch t.v. in your imaginary houses as we stay motionless until one of us moves. Buckled in your car seat smothering Goldfish in your face, you little arm is engulfed in the shiny white bag. No clothes, no dress, no cute little shorts… Princess nightgown is selection of choice regardless of time.

As night time draws near I can feel the anxiety of sleep. Which books are on request tonight as I put you to bed. I will read to you forever even if it’s Goodnight Moon for the 5 thousandth time. Your eyelids become heavy with each passing word, soon your asleep with your blanket in tow.

This time in a place exists in my mind daily until you are near. These thoughts pacify my mind as one day closer you are to being in my arms again.

I have to say the past 6 months have been the best with Lia. Communication is up, tantrums are down and this is the age I always said that I looked forward to the most. The development of her personality right before my very eyes has been magical, fun, and at times thought provoking. I say this because she makes me remember the little things in life I hadn’t thought about in years. I never really thought about how much I am taking in from having a child and how much she is teaching me at the same time.

I’m also glad to report that her imagination is alive and well. A recent trip to the park allowed me to view this first hand as we “pretended” to watch t.v. in her make shift house underneath one of the playgrounds. I told her it was dark in her house and she needed to turn on the light for me to see and she flipped an imaginary switch on one of the pole supports. I am not sure exactly when my imagination kicked in but I hope she has one as vivid as mine was and still is to this very day.

Before having a daughter, I had always pictured me pushing my child in a swing set with the sun setting and a cool breeze blowing as we talked, laughed and smiled. We have had our swing times together in the past, but this time was different. It lasted more than 30 minutes as she continued to ask for more pushes and I kindly obliged. As I looked around I slowly realized that what was happening was exactly how I pictured it some 10 odd years ago. It was a calm and peaceful moment that I wanted to last forever as I stood there to take it all in with probably a silly smile on my face. There is no price you can put on these moments in time, but they are certainly worth more than any mint could possibly print in a lifetime.

When it was over we packed up and headed home. I adjusted my riewview mirror to look back at you several times as you smiled back at me from your car seat. For this was just one of millions of memories that you will most likely forget, but will play over and over in my mind for many years to come.

What started out as a innocent Saturday afternoon ended up being a little tramatic for the both of us and you with a nasty little knot on the back of your head.  We had been invited over to neighbors to hang out because they have grown very fond of you.  She is on an older woman byt the name of Doris, and it’s just her and her mother living together just down the road.  I see them quite often when walking Dylan or when she is outside taking care of her garden.

Over the past 2 years it had become tradition to stop by when you were staying with me, and during that time they had grown very fond of you.  This particular weekend had been a few weeks since they last had seen you and they had requested that we come over.  We had ventured into the back yard where you had found a couple of her garden pinwheels that you felt needed relocation.  We were all trying to teach you how to blow gently on the pinwheel to get it to spin, but you insisted that your 300 PSI blowing bubbles blow was more effective.  Which it probably would have been had you actually had the pinwheel facing the right direction.

After a couple of laps around the yard you had decided it was time to come sit with the big people and pull up a chair.  Doris then remembered that she had a smaller plastic chair that would fit you better. When you climbed in the chair you were playing with your pinwheel when all of a sudden you had rocked back and just happened to catch the edge of where the grass met the concrete with the back of your head.   It was the first time since having you that I felt completely helpless as I waited for you to catch your breath before letting out a gut wrenching scream.  As I held you close I was feeling the back of your head praying that it didn’t break the skin, which it didn’t.  After a couple of minutes and 15 million apologies from Doris on her placement of the chair, you seemed to be alright.  Of course any type of head trauma requires close observation over the next several hours.

You didn’t show any signs that would require a trip to the hospital other than the knuckle sized lump on the back of your head which amazingly you let me keep a cold pack on for 15 minutes at a time.  You ate dinner, laughed and played as usual and then got you ready for bed.  It had been almost 4 hours since the incident and with any head injury you should monitor any sleepiness after hitting the head.  Of course I was a little over protective, but I woke you up 2 times in the middle of the night just to make sure you were alert and functional.  I admit it was total overkill, but as a parent you just can never be too safe and I just couldn’t fathom life without you, much less over a small accident that I could not protect you from.

I’m happy to report that you were ok, but it did make me realize how fortunate I am to have a healthy baby girl.  The helplessness I felt after the accident must pale in comparison to the parents of  Children with Cancer or any disease for that matter.  I wanted to take the pain away from you but could only comfort.  In the future when the bumps, scrapes, cuts and falls happen; the dynamic duo of Daddy and Neosporin will be there for you.  I love you my sweetheart an remember I may not always be around to catch you when you fall, but I will always be there to tell you everything is going to be alright.